Working Together - Is it for you?

We are a husband and wife appraisal team.  We are both real estate appraisers and have been working together now for 12 years. My husband has had his business for 30 years but I was formerly a school teacher.  I joined him in 2006.  I will admit that I wasn't sure at first if it would work but we have been going strong ever since.  I have reached out to other appraisers who also are married and work together.  They have shared some of their stories with me as well as tips and advice for working together.  If you are considering working together as appraisers or other forms of business here are a few tips:

1. Keep work life and home life as separate as possible-   I will admit that this is much more difficult for me than my husband.  I will find myself discussing some aspect of a property or asking his opinion about an appraisal topic when we are at dinner or on our way to our kid's sporting event.  It really is best to try to separate your work life and your home/family life.  If you don't have some separation, the stresses of work can spill into your home/family life.  We also have a home office which makes it more difficult sometimes to separate work and family life.  I had to learn to be conscious of my time and just shut my computer off, close the office door and leave it for tomorrow.  I had to learn to be fully engaged with my family and not shut away working on a report.  I recommend finding what works best for you.  We do, at times, come back and finish up work with a deadline after the kids are in bed.  We also don't answer the phone after 5pm.  It is amazing to me that we will receive calls late into the evening or on weekends. ( Yes, we have had more than one client call during a church service on a Sunday morning to ask if we wanted to take an assignment.  Thankfully our ringer was off).  Each situation will be different but I would encourage you to find the ways to keep work life from overflowing into your family time.

2. Respect office spaces and work styles-  Everyone has a different work style.  I can tell you that my husband is a filer and I am a piler.  My desk is typically cluttered and his desk is always neat and tidy.   I am always wishing that my desk looked more like his, however, this is just not how I function.  If I have everything filed away, I am less productive and I have more difficulty finding things.  We have learned to recognize that we each have different work styles.  My computer rarely has only one tab open at a time.  As I am currently typing this I have seven tabs open at once.  My husband is completely different.  I don't think that I have ever seen him have more than one tab open at a time on his computer.  That is just how he operates.  We have not ridiculed or tried to change the other to be a certain way.  The key word here is respect.  Find what works for you.  Some appraisers have shared with me that they each have their own separate office spaces within their home.  Perhaps one has the office in the basement and one in the spare bedroom. One appraiser told me that her husband distracted her too much so that is why they have separate spaces.  Our office is actually a converted patio space and we each have our own desk with our printer and files separating them.  This works well for us.

3. Never disagree in front of a client/borrower - When I asked for tips and advice for working together in one of my appraiser groups this was a suggestion that was given.  It may seem obvious that you wouldn't want to get into some domestic spat in front of your client or homeowners.   That certainly wouldn't be professional and would certainly undermine the confidence that your client would have in your work. But you could critique or mention something and not realize how it might come across. We can sometimes be lax in how we speak with our spouse.   If you are observing a property together and there is a question about something you see, say, for example, something that might be considered a functional obsolescence. One of you might think it would be an obsolescence and the other not.  It would be best to write down your thoughts and then discuss later.  It might not be best to discuss if you disagree in front of anyone that may be in the home at the time.  This would just be professionalism when you are working together. The key is to treat your spouse as you would any other professional.

4. Recognize your individual strengths -  If I have learned anything in life, it is that every person is unique and has different strengths and weaknesses.  I believe that the reason my husband and I are able to work together so well is that we are so different.  We each recognize that the other is better at certain tasks and this is a benefit. My husband is absolutely terrific at the fieldwork.  He knows what to look for, what are red flags, where to look for all of those sometimes difficult to find HUD tags and data plates for manufactured homes, etc.  I believe that he is an absolute genius when it comes to measuring second story floors.  It takes me so much longer to measure the second floor so if I know that I have a difficult house to measure, I will definitely want him with me.  My strengths lie in data research and analysis.  I consider myself a research detective and love the challenge of finding data on a property that is a bit more difficult to acquire.  I also love making charts and graphs, taking all of the data we gather and putting it in a format that makes it easy for the readers of our reports to understand. We each have our areas of expertise within our company and we optimize them.

5. Find a hobby or recreational activity separate from working together-  This is a great tip.  It can get overwhelming if all you are doing is working your appraisal business and your family (which at times, can feel like running a business, I mean we do have seven kids).  Take time to be together just as the two of you.  This strengthens your relationship which in turn will help with tending to work and family.  For us, we cycle together.  We actually ride tandem ( the 2 seater bike) and enjoy this as a couple.  It is great for both of us to get exercise but it also is fun and gets us away from everything.  I can't really explain how relaxing it is to ride down beautiful country roads, trails or along the shores of our local lake.  We do leisure rides by ourselves as well as organized rides in large groups.  Two weeks ago we participated in the Hotter'N Hell ride in Wichita Falls, TX.  There were close to 12,000 riders in that ride.  It was a great experience!   We make sure that we schedule rides during the week for us so that we get them in.  Work and family can easily consume our time but we have learned the importance of doing something completely different. This helps us with that work-life balance.  Here we are at our last ride in Wichita Falls:

You may be thinking that we just spend too much time together.  Don't we ever get on each other's nerves?  Well for us, no.  As I am typing this, my husband is out inspecting properties for the rest of the afternoon.  We really aren't together many of the hours of the day.  We also do still like each other so I guess that helps.  I do not think that working together is for everyone but for many of us, it is a great way to have a career and have a life together.   I hope this helps any who are just starting working together or considering it.  What did I leave out?  What advise do you have?  What are your stories or experiences?  Please feel to share in the comments.